||[Nov. 27th, 2008|11:02 am]
And so, if I'm honest. I hate uni.|
I love the life, living in Brighton, my friends here and such.
But then I go to my seminars or lectures, or you know, don't go which is more the case. And when I am there I just feel shit. I feel so stupid and self concious. Like everyone thinks I'm a loser, which I am, but they aren't allowed to think that! only my real friends are! It feels like when I'm there I just cannot wait to come home, and I mean to London. Real home. And I'm kind of counting down the days until I can go home.
But other times, leisure time and social time I love it.
I cannot wait for christmas, thing is, this now, being at uni is more of a doss than christmas will be for me. I'm going back to fat face to pay back my overdraft so I'll be working alot, more early mornings...less social time in which I dont have to feel bad for getting drunk because I know I don't have uni tomorrow. But, being home and not having to worry about my next seminar or lecture will be mentally a long sleep.
And now I'm ill! Typical that when I'm trying to make more effort with uni I actually get ill and so now I cant have sick days because I used those up crying wolf.
Finally have internet at home now, took its time. I would get so frustrated with my laptop, sitting there not really doing much at all. Just looking pretty and allowing me to play solitaire until the early hours of the morning.
This is another thing actually, my sleeping pattern is completely fucked. I went to bed at 5am this morning and got up at 8...yesterday however I went to bed at 6am and got up at 5pm. I literally hardly see daylight, maybe a reason for my slight depression.
I don't mean to rant, but it is so nice to get out what I'm feeling.